To Be Loved
by IAmNotAUnicorn-ImBetter
Summary: Damian can't understand why his Father doesn't love him.


Yeah! First real Damian story! I've had this idea for a while now and wanted to do it. I don't have an editor so hang in there with me. Damian coloring wasn't my idea, I don't remember where I got it from, but I thought it was cute! :)

I don't understand my father. The way he treats Grayson, Drake, and Todd with compassion even though they're not blood related. I don't want to think about them, but I can't. Father took them all to a fancy restaurant, without me, even with Todd! He said I was grounded for disobeying orders. But Todd?! His behavior is worst then mine by far. I had a pang of envy for my other "sibling" and something died in my heart. I frowned and looked down. I've been coloring these children's coloring books for Pennyworth decided I needed a hobby and when I found it amusing, he went overboard. There were more colors I thought numbers along with all types of pages to color. I sighed and picked up another crayon and looked at my neatly colored cat. I colored both eyes green which made its black body stand out. Apparently, according to Grayson, normal children color.

"Master Damian, is there something I can get for you?" This was the fourth time the kind butler has asked me for anything. I do like the butler, but I wouldn't admit it.

"No thank you Pennyworth." I said polity, something I only say to him when we are at the Manor alone. This made his frown deepen and his eyes showed concerned.

"Master Damian," He said getting on knee so he could be on my level. I was lying on the ground on my stomach so I turned to look up at him.

"If there is anything you need or just to talk, you may come to me. Anyways, dinner is almost done." He looked my deep in the eyes and sighed. He slowly got up and started to walk off before I stopped him.

"May I have orange juice?" He looked back at me and sadly smiled.

"Of course Master Damian, I will return shortly." I was kind of thirsty and to be honest, I don't know where this politeness is coming from. My thoughts were put to a halt when the front door was slammed and followed with laugher.

"That guy was sooooo fat!" Todd laughed so hard he snorted.

"Jason," Father said as he rolled his eyes.

"What?" He spoke in defense. "He was, right Dick?"

"Bruce it was true, right Tim?"

"Sorry Bruce, gotta agree with them." Todd was still laughing now with Dick joining him. Father rolled his eyes at them and smiled as Tim joined in the laughter. I stared at them, Father with his sons, as my frown deepened. I looked down. I wish I could laugh like that with Father.

"Sirs, dinner is ready." Alfred announced.

"Yeah! I'm so hungry I could eat a pig," Todd determinedly.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a cow," Drake commented.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," Dick finally said, winning the conversation as they walked to the dining room. Soon everyone sat down at the table and I watched them. Alfred started to walk out of the kitchen before Father stopped him.

"Where are you going?" Father asked.

"To tell Master Damian dinner is ready," He replied politely.

"Ohh…"Father lamely said. Did he really not notice I wasn't there? Damian thought dryly. His frown deepened if that was even possible. Does he not care that much? Father always spends time with Grayson, Drake and Todd and just leaves me here. Why doesn't he care? I don't understand! Am I much of a mistake he just forgets about me? Why? I don't understand!

"Master Damian, dinner is ready," Alfred said as he reached the top of the stair case. I could have stopped him half way and say I already heard, but I appreciated that the kind butler cared so much about me and my well-being.

"I also have your orange juice on the dining table where you normally sit." His eyes were filled with worry and he smiled sadly down at me.

"Thank you," I tried to make my voice sound tough, but it came out weak and small, how I really felt. He turned around and headed back down knowing I would follow. I stood up and followed him into a kitchen with a deep frown on my face.

Everyone was already eating, not to mention with no table manners except Father. It was kind of funny, how everyone sat at one end of the table, nearest to the kitchen. Father sat at the end with Grayson at his right and Drake at his left. Jason sat next to Drake. I sat on Grayson's side, about three seats away from him, where I normally sit. I never felt included in the family sitting at the end, so I didn't bother trying. They were so far but so close. I wish I could have that, to be included. I knew I never could. I look gloomily at my food. It was steak, with mashed potatoes and green beans on the side. I stared down on my plate, picking at my food. I took a couple bites of mashed potatoes and green beans, but that was all. Laughter filled the right side of the table with smiles. I glanced over there. Father was smiling and Grayson was telling some stupid story like always. Tim was even laughing. I stared at them instead of my food. The more I looked at them, the more I felt sad and sorry at myself. It only confused me more, wondering why I couldn't have that.

Why? Why doesn't father care? He cares about them but no me? I wish….just once….he could notice me, but he never will. I am a mistake. I shouldn't be here. I frowned and my eyebrows curled up. Why? I still don't understand.

I took a sip of orange juice. It melted and refreshed my dry mouth. Someday, just you wait Father, you'll be proud of me. I was determined. Someday…I'll make you proud of me, to notice me, to love me.


End file.
